Our First Free Writers Lounge

I just got off the phone after our first online Writers Lounge.  It was a concentrated hour of writing from topic to topic. During calls like this I am itching to write too. But here is what I've learned over the years. Once I get going I don't want to stop. I would forget to change topics. I would lose myself in my own writing and nobody would be there to facilitate the process.

So instead, I feel into the group energy. I sense what topic would next add to the collective creative fires and increase the flow for everyone involved. And I get excited as I imagine each person taking time out of their day or evening to call in from around the world.

Here are some valuable lessons harvested on the call.  I am so appreciative of all who joined me at the first Writers Lounge and thank you to those who shared their nuggets of wisdom for everyone to benefit from.

• We block ourselves with "over -thinking".
• With practice we can get out of our own way.
• It's good to recognize when our "inner critic" or "judger" appears on the scene.
• Writing is Healing.
• Moods can shift depending upon the topic helping us to make choices that are most meaningful for us.

We are doing it again!
The next FREE Writers Lounge is scheduled for Thursday December 10th.
Register here and send your topics to prepare the creative fires.

All are welcome!

Lovers are Students of Love

 "The Grand essentials of happiness are:
something to do, something to love, and something to hope for."

Allan K. Chalmers

"Him that I love, I wish to be free -- even from me."

Anne Morrow Lindbergh

I've been swept away by love. I've fallen flat on my face for love. I've moved across the country for love and I've stayed put for love also. I am a student of love. Why you might ask? Why study something so obvious? Why study something that should come naturally?  Why learn about something that doesn't pay well? (Well maybe it does - but that is a different article)

First - because I am a woman and nothing matters more in the depths of a woman's heart than love.

Second - because I've wept in the name of love, raged in the name of love, lost hope in the name of love, withered in the name of love and suffered confusion and despair more than once in the name of love. Obviously there are some lessons here!

Third -because love has surprised me, uplifted me, delighted me, taken me on adventures, and brought me to the deepest places in my heart and these are all experiences I want more of.

Just when we think we understand love there is more to discover, and a multitude of ways to demonstrate it.

Sometimes Love is best demonstrated by fighting for a relationship

• I remember when I was married and we were going through a rocky time. We were arguing a lot - about silly things and neither of us could stop. Our counselor at the time told me this: Make sure you are fighting FOR the relationship, not AGAINST it. I've never forgotten that.

Sometimes Love is best demonstrated by taking time out

• Recently something needed to be said in an important relationship. I wanted to blurt it out immediately but I stopped myself. I knew the words would not be clear and the possibility for misunderstanding was huge. I mulled it over for a few days, wrote down my thoughts, sifted and sorted and finally found words I was comfortable with. I shared and came away feeling victorious, connected and full with love for both of us.

Sometimes Love is best demonstrated by allowing the other to "be right"

• Who cares really? If he or she needs be an authority on something let them. Especially let them be an authority on their own thoughts and feelings. Let them be right about their own life - even if you think you know better for them!

Sometimes Love is best demonstrated with silence

• More than once I have held my tongue. Sometimes I know ahead of time that "talking about something" will only lead to a debate. And debate - while it might be intellectually satisfying like a game of chess - lives in the head - while love lives in the heart.     

Sometimes Love is best demonstrated by telling the truth

• The more connected I am to my own feelings the more I'm able to do this one. Sometimes I try to jump ahead to say things I don't know yet and that only muddles up communication. "I don't know what to say right now. I'm feeling confused. I need some time to sort my feelings out before I speak." Sometimes statements like these can be our most authentic truths.

Sometimes Love is best demonstrated in our choice to reveal and share ourselves.

• I wanted to be invisible many times. As a little girl I was one of the smallest girls in my classroom. You'd think I could have just tucked myself behind my desk and hidden out. My bright red hair made that impossible. It seemed I had a neon "OPEN" sign on my head that was permanently on. Sometimes I did not want to be open.  Later in life I learned I had choice. I could decide where and who to reveal and share with.

I've learned as much from wild and difficult demonstrations of love as I have from beautiful ones. My friends have taught me. And my not so-friendly friends too. My lovers have taught me. The ones who stayed and the ones who left. My family has taught me. Nature. Animals. Books, Movies, Music, Art and Poetry. Writing. Clients. My readers. I've absorbed some of the lessons and some of them I resist. Regardless -  love keeps teaching me and I am Love's student.

Snorkel Man

"The human race has only one really effective weapon and that is laughter."
Mark Twain

My iPod broke last month and walking on the treadmill hasn't been the same since. When I arrived at the gym this morning I found I had no socks. No iPod, no socks and an extra long to-do list for the day. I was beginning to feel grumpy. I decided to put off my workout until this afternoon and instead made my way over to Starbucks to write this article.

When I stepped out of the car I realized my laptop was still waiting for me at home. I had forgotten to grab it when I hurried out the door and headed to town. Grrr - now my grumpiness was taking hold.

Heading back toward my house I hit road construction and delayed traffic. I decided to use my time "wisely" to tackle an errand and found myself on hold with the phone company- again. Minor grumpiness became major frustration and down right annoyance!

And then a funny image popped into my mind. Last week I was driving through town with a friend and we were stopped at a crosswalk in the heart of town. There crossing the street was a man wearing full snorkel gear. We looked at each other, shook our heads and laughed. Only in Kona we agreed. This is one wacky town.

Just recalling this event brought a smile to my face. Actually I found myself laughing out loud and my grumpy mood dissipated quickly replaced with one amusing memory.

Here is the interesting thing. Just prior to the snorkel man memory surfacing something important had been happening. Here is what was going on in my mind. I was having a conversation with myself that went something like this:

"I don't like feeling frustrated for long. This frustration is sticking around longer than I want it to. I wonder what I might do to shift my own mood right now?"

And Bingo - Snorkel man appeared in my mind.

Wonder is a great skill to develop. The act of wondering opens us to worlds beyond this world. And let's not forget that humor is a great way to shift any negative mood. When it happens spontaneously - like it did for me today- it feels like a tickle from the angels. If you are ticklish like I am you know you can only resist laughter for so long before it wells up and cannot be stopped.

Sure I could return to my grumpiness if I wanted to but why would I? It feels far better to laugh, to enjoy life, and to appreciate the work I've done training my mind to seek out positive thoughts when uncomfortable feelings rise in me.

I've been deliberately steering my mind - like a small child - in the direction of happy thoughts for some time now. Because I have a bit of a "wild child" inside of me - this has been no quick or easy task. It took years to convince her that it was really okay to be happy. She thought her world would disintegrate if she didn't monitor every detail for danger or darkness.

Spiritual practice doesn't guarantee that there will be no down moments. What it does do is strengthen our ability to shift our own moods and to take delight in the small and great blessings of life.  

Jazzed Up and Winding Down

Everyone just left. The house is quiet now and yet I'm jazzed up. It will take me some time to wind down before I can sleep. Tonight was our third class in the Live Write with Spirit Program here in Kona. Our focus was on Finding Your Writers Voice. And boy - a bunch of characters showed up. Even the cat made an entrance at an opportune moment to share her voice with the cast of inner characters who arrived this evening. No - this is not some supernatural, paranormal, channeled event. Just ordinary people stepping outside of who they think they are to become more of who they have always been.

We have so much to say - each and everyone of us. Oodles and mountains and oceans of wisdom, wondering, tenderness, sorrow, confusion, clarity, revelation, insight, passion, grief  and, and, and... to express. Start writing and we might not ever stop. It's too much fun - too healing - so very delicious and yummy to write. Especially writing together in a group. Quiet takes over the room as each person turns toward their journal, lifts their pen and fills  empty white space with meaning that comes from - where? Does it matter where it comes from? It comes - when we allow it. When we get out of the way, the rivers of creativity flow and we get to feel their ever- changing currents take over.

Writing with Spirit makes us more relaxed people. It is good for us.

You have probably heard this expression:  The best way for us to know love, is to feel love flowing through us to the world

I think the same is true of creativity. The best way to know what it is to be a creator is to feel creativity flowing through us onto paper - or napkins - or walls - or wherever you happen to take notes.

As a teacher I had a great night. I watched a group of individuals getting "write" with themselves. Now that is a satisfying feeling. I'm getting tired now. Good night!

Writers are Marked as They Leave Their Mark

It seems the more I write the more there is to write.
I begin an article and ideas for four more appear.
I write a letter to one person and think of ten more I'd like to write also.

I could feel overwhelmed and stop writing at all.
But I love writing and so I plow forward tackling one writing project after another.

Funny thing - the more writing there is to do the more efficient I become.

Once my creative fires are lit they keep me hopping.
Each time I write I walk through a wall of fire.
Sometimes I get singed and the heat leaves red marks on my skin.
This is part of my profession and I wear the indentations on my fingers
and the burn in my eyes just like the freckles on my face.
Long time companions.
Something invisible to me until someone else points them out.

Writers are marked - as they leave their mark.
And yet, often the don't notice.
They are too busy doing what they love - writing.